The 15 Funniest Autocorrects From December 2011
These were the 15 most popular autocorrect submissions sent into this site in December, 2011. Congratulations to the submitters!
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219 Responses
Ridiculous auto cat rectal nearly made me choke on the toothpick I’m chewing on.
YOu too, huh??
I’m responding to this just to say that I had the same response. No toothpick was involved, but that was the best line from all of those.
Yeah–that was the best!!
i was lauhing so hard dat my body was hurting so much especially dat i had non stop coughin for 3 days lol
im laughing so hard right now im crying. that was so damn funny……. LMAO
The auto cat rectal gets me every time. Birdseed!
I can’t stop laughing at the ridiculous auto cat rectal
Birdseed! LMFAO Best one I’ve read yet!
same here
I think DYAC owes me a new computer because I just sprayed coffee out of my nose…. Which is really amazing because the last sip I took was about 10 minutes ago!
That is some serious skill.
yeah, i agree… that, then followed by BIRDSEED! i about died. probably one of the best i’ve seen yet. XD
oh gawd i nearly sharted on that one….lol
“Ridiculous auto cat rectal… Birdseed!”….lol…I gotta start using that in conversation. It’s a good alternative to swearing. “My ridiculous auto cat rectal boss is making me work on Saturday….Birdseed!!!”
I can’t breathe I’m laughing so hard. I’ve been having a tough week, between family issues (death in the family) and work so DYAC is the perfect antidote
I hear ya, I have a asshole for a boss and I get on here for some comic relief. Best part of my day other than going home after work.
I guess you are “asshole intolerant”!
Snap!
My condolences, Jody! But 2012 still can turn around. It’s only early January.
I too needed that boost! Terrible week. Mascara is streaming down my face, no longer from the stress of this week, but now from the uncontrollable laughter. Thanks iPhone and DYAC! Stress relief!
Ditto. I found this site shortly after the death of my sister, and it helped me to laugh again.
Me too! I’ve been grieving over the loss of my parents, and cried enough to fill a lake. However… DYAC has become a practical ‘tool’ the last few months to stop the tears instantly. Works every time. Birdseed!
OMG. I had foot surgery yesterday and haven’t been able to sleep much, but believe laughter is a good medicine,my cousin sent me this website, I have a feeling recovery is going to be a alot quicker,,, I’ve haven”t laughed this hard in a long time as silly mistakes…
Don’t drink Coke while reading these, my screen got all sticky..
Are you sure it was coke and not your cock in a freezer?
lulz! xD
Or maybe Mom should have left some tissues by the bed…
XD Good one!
LOL
XD
that was hilarious… I’m still crying from laughter hahaha
Birdseed!
Who knew that “birdseed” could be used as an alternative cuss word.
The “Birdseed!” autocorrect gets me every time
What is it supposed to say?
Probably some sort of swearword, like “Dammit” or something.
Bet it was “bullshit”
That’s what I was thinking!!!!
I think Bastard? With the B – s – r – d ?
Ooh that’s a good point, Wiggy! Maybe it’s bastard!
People keep saying the birdseed is the funniest one without saying why. I don’t get it and I feel left out
Glad to not have auto correct on my droid! But.. this is hilarious!
What did it rate on the tittie scale?? bahahahahaa
A little wiggle here, a jiggle there–not too bad.
I wish my aunts were as witty as that!
omfg that last one xD I almost spit coke all over my computer!!! “What did it rate on the titty scale?” lulz I’d give the same answer tho haha
Chocolate shart made me laugh so hard I am crying. The people on the bus must think I’m crazy
Me too!!! I was laughing so hard I was snorting. And just imagining someone walking up to an associate and asking for two gallons of “chocolate shart.” Busting up again…
OMG i’m dying over that one.. and the chocolate shart comments are just amplifying it.. i have tears running down my face ..baahahaha
lmfao!!! I was reading this at lunch and just bursted out laughing! People musta thought I was fuckin crazy lol
Chocolate Shart made me roll over laughing. The paint guy must have been in bits.
Chocolate shart ranks right up there with effervescent shitstain. A real guffaw for this home remodeler.
That one was my favorite!
The first one is priceless
matter of fact, pretty much all of them are.
FRIDGE AUTO CUCUMBER
FRIDGE AUTO CUCUMBER
DUDE???
I’d just stopped crying laughing from the “chocolate shart” comments above and this set me off again.
I LOVE these! They make me laugh so hard, and always turn a bad day into a good one!
Omg, my bf and i about died laughing. Titty scale!!!!!!
OMG I laughed so hard at these I had tears running down my face. Great way to cheer me up. (:
These are the best ever!
Chocolate Shart made me laugh for like 10 minutes… if I happen to think of it, I crack up all over again…
Me too!!
Everytime I picture the paint guy’s face, I start giggling and the tears start up. My coworker thought I was crying bc I was upset. Showed him that one and he almost spit his drink all over my phone!
I just died!
Were you murdered or did you just get Ovaltine?
LOLLLL that was hilarious!
Rofl @ Chocolate Shart!! And the fact that he said he’d asked for it too LOL!! Priceless!
That dude should have been handed one of Bill Engvall’s “Here’s Your Sign” signs.
Married men don’t get lap dances? really?
Not unless they are complete assholes looking to not be married anymore.
well, I guess there goes the industry
Actually – I couldn’t care less if my husband got a lap-dance…but it isn’t about guys getting lap dances…it is about the funniest shit I’ve ever read.
This has already been discussed, to death.
LOL!! My thoughts exactly!
My married buddy says he gets it every now and then…from the wife ^^
Glad I’m not the only one who realized wives are still fully capable of giving lap dances!
Omg! I just choked on my drink… I have frigging tears.
LMAO @ Ridiculous Auto Cat Rectal. LOL!!!!!
I started off ok, then the more I read, the harder I laughed so I ended up literally crying with laughter and making this really odd noise as I tried to stop laughing long enough to breathe XD
I totally lost it at “ridiculous auto cat rectal” and never got it back again!
When you sit in a tiny cube & are supposed to be working you do your best at supressing any chuckles you might have.
My favorite web site!!!
I couldn’t hold my laughter & tears back & everyone was asking if I was OK. This isn’t the 1st time DYAC did this to me. Last time (few months ago) I had to leave the office for the day as I wasn’t able to bring myself back
I too had tears of laughter…my 9 yo granddaughter kept asking…WHAT??
Same happened to me with my 4 yr old niece!
lol You kidding me? I was in the middle of a doctors appointment when he walked out of the room, I checked the site on my phone, and then I was laughing so hard when he came back in that he had to make me throw up to get me to stop!
Er, fall asleep, not throw up… Guess that’s what I get for typing that on my phone… lmfao
LMBO!!! I was like why did you need to throw up to stop? That’s kinda extreme! XD
OMG!Laughing so hard I am crying!
Chocolate Shart! OMG I just about died! The fact that he asked the associate for it was the best! I’m gonna LOL every time I think of this today and people are gonna think I’ve lost it! hahaa
OMG! I’m an RN and “Chocolate Shart” has a whole ‘nother meaning besides a paint color!
Ya think? LOL
Um, yes. We didn’t all think it was really about a paint color, either.
My boyfriend broke up with me moments before i saw this…i recommend it for anyone having a rough time hahahahaha:-D
You have my sympathy on the breakup and my empathy on the DYAC entry.
I get more weird looks when I read this stuff out in public. I shouldn’t, but it is always my go-to when I am bored and waiting somewhere!
I’m dying laughing over the titty scale…
The “blow your load” one was something I missed before. Hilariously, horribly apt. >_>
the “Love mom” at the end seals the deal for me XD
Worst part is, I don’t think it was an auto correct, perhaps just an innocent mom not understanding terminology
Um — I’m pretty sure she meant “blow your nose”
LMAO!!! I sooo needed those laughs my one year old is looking at me like im crazy! I love this site!
no no, my favie was when dad was getting a golf driver, mom was getting touched by an asian… he he he… and a tacky sweater party to put you in the mood for the holocaust….HAH!
Lol!!! I love the mom who left tissues “in case you need to blow your load” how thoughtful. most moms just tell you you’ll go bind.
Lol yeah I wish my mom would give me tissues to blow my load haha
So.. A bit off topic but. Do you guys have stock iOS or jailbreak?
This site needs a spin off called damn you Siri where people can post the fail responses that Siri gives when you ask or tell it to do stuff.
Look at the menu up top.
Wish granted..check the top ‘Why, Siri, why?’.
I think I will have to use “Birdseed!” as my go to curse word. Hahah! Love coming here to liven up my boring day at work. I too have made a mess of my computer screen while eating. Btw is the DYAC app worth getting for $2.99?
Nah. Sorry to say but the dyac app is not that great. First off it needs a jump screen. It only let’s you view one by one. It should have a screen that has multiple choices and then you can pick which you want to look at. Secondly doesn’t let you comment. Which is Linda annoying like. If I see something funny. I have this need to let a bunch of people know that I found it funny but you can’t on the app. Thirdly. You can’t save where you were reading from which is crazy annoying having to start again or find a place everytime you open the app. For $2.99 there’s just too many basic and convenient features it doesn’t have. That it really should have.
“Linda annoying?”
I don’t think Linda is THAT bad of a name………
Kinda. DYAC?!
Ahahahahahahaha! While chocolate shart is my absolute fave on here, a close second is “My
Mom got murdered.”. I know I’m sick but the response of “FFFFFFFFFFFUUUUUUUUUU” cracks me the hell up! And it was all over Ovaltine! Ahahahah
Actually I just thought abt the titty scale one and I laughed so hard I almost puked!!!
I LOVED THE TITTY SCALE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Omg that was hilarious! I’m dying!
These were so funny I laughed hard enough to nearly pee my pants and I had tears streaming down my face. I love the text message from mother too son who was home sick.
OMG, i just cant stop laughing. And I am by myself cracking up laughing at that cat rectal one…wow!!!! Thats the best one yet!
Lol XD ”Blow your load” I have a feeling that was not autocorrect
I believe “blow your nose” was intended
Chocolate shart… priceless!!
OMG my phone auto corrects anything that starts with a “w” and changes it to wiener! it effed up lol.
I just commented on my friend posting this via phone-”You bust your nutt I’m stealing this.” Actual comment, “You bet your butt I’m stealing this.” LMFAO
This has totally kicked my New Year of in a hilarious good funny way…..I will come back each time I need a GREAT LAUGH…. JUST TOO DAMN FUNNY…..<3
BAHAHA auto fridge cucumber! auto fridge cucumber! BIRDSEED!
Autocat rectal and fridge auto cucumber XD XD XD can’t stop laughing
The blow your load one killed me hahaha
Lol leave cock out for Santa haha I almost died at all of these. Funny thing is I have to hold all of this in cuz everyone in my house is sleeping so I’m almost diying trying not to laugh
Lol no more Buttsex for me!
Haha I wish my mom was that thoughtful when I needed to blow my load
Yeeeep. Thanks “chocolate shart” for making me piss my pants! After the BIRDSEED, I was laughing so hard that when I read that he actually ASKED for “chocolate shart,” I REALLY pissed myself! Now please excuse me while I wash and change! lol
Lol ik just imagine the guys face when he asked for it lol